Monday, October 27, 2008

Investment advice from a cabbie

When you start getting investment advice from cab drivers, you know we are all in big trouble. Well, here's today's advice from a cabbie:

If, one year ago, you put $1000 in AIG, today, you would have $00.00 left.

If, one year ago, you put $1000 in Honeywell, today, you would have about $19.00 left.

If, however, you invested $1000 in beer in aluminum cans, drank all that beer and recycled the cans, you would have over $200 left.

So, today's advice is, drink heavily and recycle your cans.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Phone calls I have heard

Seems the first thing passengers from LAX want to do is get on the phone, either to business associates, family or whomever.

The assumption of privacy is almost as if I'm not there. I guess they figure I either don't speak English, or I just don't care. It's the latter... Usually. The other day, there was a casually dressed man talking about his million-dollar investments who seemed really calm about things, as opposed to the overly tense business people I usually encounter. I generally don't pay any attention to their phone calls and forget them as soon as I drop off. But one Saturday morning recently, a very beautiful lady, appearing to be in her late 20's, starts her conversation,

"Hello baby, what are you doing?"
Boyfriend or husband I figure.

"Whatcha wearing, baby"
Hmmmm, now this might be interesting, as I start to concentrate on my passenger's call.

"You wearing the Superman jammies or the Spiderman jammies?

Yeah and it's Saturday morning watching cartoons. Maybe it is her husband and they have something kinky going on, but it turns out to be her child, of course.

Like I said, most conversations my passengers have are forgettable.

If the NSA (National Security Agency) needs help for their warrantless wiretapping, I've got lots of experience listening.

I'm just finishing lunch as the Hare Krishna Temple; Great vegetarian food, really cheap, and it keeps me regular. (Watseka Ave. just off Venice Blvd near Culver City).

Next time.